Most people believe that conflicts between people are the worst. Actually, the hardest conflicts to deal with reasonably may be the ones you have with yourself.
Let’s be honest, shall we? Conflict is inevitable. It is a part of life. If you told me you never have conflicts, well, I’d have to say you’re fibbing. Every person has conflict every day. Really. Even you. Absolutely me. Everyday.
The reason some of us are more happy-go-lucky has to do with the size and complexity of the issue. The small stuff like- I don’t wanna get out of the hot shower and should I have a sticky bun or Total for breakfast- are easily managed. You know what to do and have the skills to make those decisions. (Although I admit to being unable to get out of the shower on many a wintry Boston morn)
As a wedding professional you know how to manage most, if not all, the issues that clients bring your way. You’ve dealt with disorganized brides, overbearing budget-minded dads and downright crazy wedding vendors before. Your expertise and experience shines through. (And, I’m here if you need some advice or a hand)
But what about the conflict you’re having with yourself?
What conflict? The one that’s keeping your wedding business and your dreams from reaching their full potential. The battle between your inner winner and your inner whiner.
Besides reading the wonderful wedding resources I shared, I spend a fair amount of time ‘exercising’ my positivity muscle by reading uplifting books. These two fun terms belong to Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen, the authors of Cash in a Flash This book is helping me keep focused on what I’d like my new business, Positively Wed, to bring into my already blessed life. It helps me to remember that every challenge, like how I won’t have phone service for two weeks because I choose Voip, is actually an opportunity to learn. (I learned to ask the tech guy more detailed questions)
So, my inner winner is the little voice that got me into the wedding business in the first place. She gets excited for working with brides. She loves being creative and thoughtful. I’m thinking about giving my inner winner a name so I can call her when I need her. How about Shelley? It’s a fun, sassy name. And, one thing I’ve decided is I’m in this business to help others and have FUN. When that isn’t happening, it’s time to stop. I love that Shelley! She’s powerful, kind and very generous with her caring.
My inner whiner, not so much. She’s mean and often tells me terrible things like you’ll embarrass yourself. Don’t talk about yourself so much; you’re not that great. Who said you could succeed? You’re kidding yourself; who will be interested in bridal coaching? She’s named Ava, kinda a play on evil.
I bet your inner whiner says the same kinda dream-crushing stuff filled with coulda, woulda, shouldas. What can you do the end the tussle, resolve the conflict, and grow the florist, photography, videography, music, officiant-business you’ve dreamed of?
There’s an old native American story about a grandfather who wanted to teach his grandson about the nature of life. It’s the story of two wolves- one good, the other evil- who are battling. I hope you’ll take a moment to read the story because it’s beautiful and telling. But if you’re in a hurry, here’s the punchline: Feed the good.
You have a choice. You can get entangled with your inner whiner who will say it’s ridiculous, impossible for you to want a thoroughly thrilling work life filled with clients who value you and who you enjoy. Unreasonable for you to be paid exactly what you’re worth or to enjoy financial freedom. Better to know your place.
Or, you can feed your inner voice, the good. You can consume quotes and books that fill up your soul with light. Surround yourself with people who are hopeful, kind and laugh out loud often. Listen to your inner winner who says you can if you try, you will if you want, you’re doing great.
What do you do to honor and encourage your inner winner?
