Stealing Your Chances to Close Deals

During an early morning Twitter session, I came across this arresting blog post by Andy Ebon, Do You Realize Brides are Thieves? That got my attention, of course, so I read more.

Andy  comments on the significant amount of  work time brides spend online planning for their weddings, then discusses  how you can negotiate with an ‘entitled’ bride in his post, which I hope you’ll take a minute to read.  Since I’m chatting with Chris Watson of Wedlock Magazine tonight about getting what you’re worth and interviewing negotiation teacher, Moshe Cohen, next Tuesday on the 3 Massive Mistakes Wedding Pros Make Negotiating, it makes sense for me to respectfully share my take on negotiating with brides. 

Mindset is Half the Battle

There’s a saying that I love and use in my personal and professional life that goes:  What you think about you bring about.

While the blog title certainly catches my attention, I worry that it asks you to form a negative impression of brides.  It equates brides ‘stealing’ company time with how they will negotiate with you.  True, some brides will be aggressive, manipulative and downright rude as they negotiate.  But why tar the whole group with such an ugly brush? Negotiating has two big components: mindset and skill.  It really helps to master the skills and then when you have success your mindset will follow.  My experience tells me most brides aren’t used to doing a lot of negotiating, so there’s room for improvement.  Meaning you have a chance to show brides how to wheel-n-deal with class and honesty.

If you, as the wedding pro,  have the mindset that a bride is out to deceive you, it’s very likely that unconsciously those thoughts will creep into your actions and words.  It’s just human nature.  Only about 30% or less of our communication with others is verbal, meaning what we actually say.  We communicate a heck of a lot more with our presence, what I call your vibe and our bodies.   Instead of crossing your arms, closing your mind and drawing a line in the sand, why not take another route:

Be transparent, state what you observe (or what confuses you) and ask for help understanding.

Sounds much harder than it is because you might be feeling vulnerable, like that bride will get the best of you somehow.  However, good negotiators know that curiosity and transparency are the best ways to build trust and understanding, which in turn leads to better results and fewer hurt feelings when negotiating.

Get Skilled Up

This is probably way too obvious, but I’m gonna say it anyway.  Go out and get some negotiation training.  I’m not necessarily talking about sales training, although that can be a part of it.  You’ll feel so much more confident when you know how to:

• ask questions that get to the heart of your bride’s desires or concerns
• listen collaboratively so you’re actively helping your bride communicate instead of waiting to make your response
• expand the range of options for possible solutions
• clearly express your interests and needs
• connect so that even if things get rocky your entire relationship isn’t jeopardized

Now, I hope you’ll join me to do this learning.  Tuesday, I’m interviewing negotiation teacher extraordinaire, Moshe Cohen, about how to avoid the most common mistakes wedding pros make negotiating.  There’s still time to register.

During this preview call we’re  digging into what the mistakes are (asking for too little is one of them), why they happen and how you can do better in the future.  It’ll be recorded and available as a replay to anyone who registers.   And, you’ll get a sneak peek at my negotiation ecourse that will launch this fall, Negotiate Nicely with Ease- a step-by-step guide on the basics of negotiation practice. Whether you’ve been haggling for years, or you’re new to the wedding community, you’ll boost your know-how and confidence with this ecourse.

Wanna hear more?  Join in as Chris Watson of Wedlock Magazine interviews me this evening on how to get paid what you’re worth.