Worry is wasteful ~ Dina Eisenberg
Don’t you agree? Worrying- the ruminating, the senseless self reproach, the squandering of energy- is simply wasteful for a variety of reasons.
The main reason: we don’t have an unlimited amount of time. That realization was brought home to me earlier this month when my mom died unexpectedly of a severe brain hemorrhage. Her favorite saying was, ‘Tomorrow is not promised’ and so it wasn’t for her. And, isn’t for me or you. Think about how often you’ve let worry distract you from the present, distance you from feeling the joy you could have right now.
I know I used to be a champion worrywart. Ask my children. 
I prepared and fussed over the most unlikely potential threats. The dark side, whatever that is, was not going to harm anyone I loved or me because I was ready. Well, of course, that’s ridiculous. You can’t be ready for everything. (Although I know some wedding pros who come pretty damned close!) What you can do, and what I’ve tried to do since turning 40, is cultivate a mindset that allows me to worry less. (hmmm, maybe that’s why 40 is the new 20!)
The Serenity Prayer, which came into existence around 1934 and was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous in 1941, still holds important keys to peace and happiness. I’m not religious in the traditional sense but I do believe in a friendly Universe and am willing to be guided to a happier life. So, it really resonates for me, and hopefully for you. Most of us know the first few lines so I thought it would be interesting to show the entire prayer.
GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.
Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next. Amen
Reinhold Neibuhr-1926
Concern, not Worry
So, what can you do instead of worrying? Try concern. While worry is a static condition that feels like you’re wearing a heavy lead necklace while treading quicksand, concern is different. Worry is trouble. Concern means ‘have to do with or related to’. Concern feels fluid and changeable. And, definitely more dynamic. The best way I can explain how I think about it is this. I can worry about growing my wedding business, thus focusing on the troubles and obstacles that may or may not arise. Or, I can be concerned about growing it, and actively focus my energies on find ways to succeed. It’s really a choice of mindset. Glass half empty; glass half full kinda thing.
Why does this matter?
Seems like semantics, I know, but it actually does matter. Your perspective is part of what your bride desires when she engages you to help her create her dream wedding. Your feelings are contagious. When you can honestly find the good, recycle joy and move forward, even in the most trying situations, so will your bride and other wedding vendors. By all means, be concerned, but don’t worry! It’s wasteful.
PS A great big, big thank you to Dorinda Duclos of @FavorsbyDorinda . I’m honored that she featured me and PositivelyWed.com on her blog. Her custom-designed candy wrappers highlighted with my logo were an amazing hit at the last networking event I attended. As you can imagine, everybody wanted a little Positively Wed sweet to take home!
