You’re a bride-to-be now. One day, pretty soon, you’ll be a bride then a wife. And, you know what that means? You’ll be a daughter-in-law. [cue dramatic music here] Which means someone will be your mother-in-law!!
Personally, I think mother-in-laws (MILs) get a bad rap. They get no respect. If you can believe it, there’s a site devoted to MIL rants. MIL jokes are standard in any comedy act.
The jokes are endless, but so mean. Interestingly enough, men seem to favor violent jokes about killing their MILs while women tend to rant. Here’s a funny joke where no one gets maimed:
Posted: 4-AUG-02
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; and the aroma of perfume filled the room. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. “But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed. “This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained. “Love dress? But you’re naked!” ” My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.” The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually. “Needs ironing,” he said.
Cute. I think becoming a daughter-in-law is tough. You’re bound to have difference, even if you get along well. But you can have an excellent relationship and make your MIL your BFF if you approach it the right way.
My first MIL and I didn’t get along at all. Think oil and vinegar. And, I could never figure out why. Guess we were too much alike. This time around I adore my MIL. She’s smart, funny and a bit of a rascal- again like me. I think marrying later made me a more settled DIL. We have a friendship, rather than the typically tortured relationships some MILs and DILs have. And that’s what I wish for you.I hope that you’ll find a way to really cherish your MIL. After all, you have one really big thing in common: you both love the same guy!
So, I insisted my friend Sally Shield, author of The Daughter-in-Law Rule: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends With) Your Mother-in-Law share her quiz. A little tongue-in-cheek , the DIL Quiz offers good advice on the care and feeding of your MIL. I’ll bring a bit of it to you over the next few weeks, along with a bit of commentary. (You didn’t expect me to have nothing to say, did you?)
Why don’t you take this portion of the quiz and let me know what comes up for you in the comments. Don’t be shy…
Are you a good Daughter-in-Law?
Take this quiz and find out how you rank!
1. You’ve just gotten married. What do you call your new MIL?
a) By her 1st name
b) “Mom”
c) Avoid the issue altogether by only responding when spoken to
Answer:
b) “MOM”
As hard as it is getting used to, do it anyway. You will soon adjust to it and eventually you may actually enjoy having a second mom. It will also help to remind you who’s the boss. (Hint: It isn’t you!)
2. What is the very best way to avoid the hurtful misunderstanding that you don’t care about your MIL?
1. Avoid chewing gum in her presence
2. Call her on a regular basis; preferably once a week
3. Don’t bring a pizza to Easter dinner
Answer: b
You can keep it short, but if you’re super-busy, aim for getting her machine, like when you know she’ll be at Bingo.
3. What is the quickest way to make your MIL feel like a million bucks?
1. give her a fake lottery scratch-off card for her b-day
2. tell her what a great job she did as a mother
3. suggest she dress up as Warren Buffet for Halloween
Answer: b
And truly mean it! After all, you chose to marry her son! This will most likely bring her to tears.
4. What is the #1 question you should ask your MIL every time you speak?
1. what year were you born?
2. how are you feeling?
3. when did you lose your virginity?
Answer: b
Make sure you take the time to notice how much your MIL’s back has been bothering her recently, and be extra helpful around the house at these times.
Keep in mind that it’s not easy getting old and aches and pains can make even the best of us ornery as all get go. And as an added touch, offer to accompany your MIL on doctors visits whenever possible.
5. What physical attributes should you take the time to notice about your MIL?
1. her thick, wavy hair
2. her thin, healthy, toned body
3. her youthful complexion
4. all of the above
Answer: d
Your MIL can be self-conscious just like you are, so make sure you let her know how pretty, thin, healthy, and young she looks. Say what flattering outfits she wears, occasionally asking if you can borrow a certain item of clothing or an accessory such as a scarf or purse. Mention that you absolutely love her hairstyle, even if she’s wearing a hairpiece (especially if she’s wearing a hairpiece). In fact, go out and get yourself a hairpiece and you too will appreciate the benefits of “fake hair!”
