Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but daddys make it all good. This week in Ask Dina, we’re talking about what happens when daddy’s girl gets engaged and how to make it a good experience for everyone.
I was a Daddy’s girl. Like many of you, I enjoyed a special bond with my dad. He was one of my best friends, confidante and my biggest cheerleader. From him, my first male dance partner, I learned to waltz on top of his feet and later how to keep my balance for the big dip (you’re supposed to hold your own weight up). He’s gone now and I miss him terribly.
There’s an old saying that ‘ a son is a son until he takes him a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for all her life’. Almost true, I think. A daughter is a daughter until she weds and becomes another guy’s best girl. Think back on the jokes you’ve probably heard: ‘Oh, she’s your worry now’. “Thanks goodness you get the bill now’ Silly wisecracks to hide a broken heart. After all, he was your first ‘boyfriend’ and just he’s been demoted to father of the bride.
What can you do to reassure dad?
Give your dad a starring role in wedding preparations. Traditionally, dad was the funding behind the wedding (remember Steve Martin in The Father of the Bride?), but today so many couples pay for their own nuptials, dad may feel left out entirely. Besides walking you down the aisle, what else can dad contribute to your big day?
Is he handy with a hammer? Maybe he can build:
- a special kneeler for church
- a wedding keepsake box
- a frame for your wedding picture or ketubah
- a lovers bench for you to sit on at the reception
Is he a fantastic cook? Wouldn’t it be great if he:
- devise a yummy treat as a wedding favor for guests
- cook your favorite meal as a ‘goodbye’ dinner
- compile a family recipe book for you
A wonderful artist? He could:
- chronicle your wedding planning on film
- paint a portrait of you and your fiance
- write a poem celebrating your day
Fathers sometimes chose to step aside during wedding planning-so many foreign details, strange customs and hidden rules to comprehend. It’s woman’s work, they say. But I don’t think their silence means disinterest. It’s likely fear. Fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. Fear of losing his little girl forever. So make the effort to reassure and baby him a bit.
