You’re definitely going to be familiar with this situation. A planner I know has a client who is angling for more services than she paid for. You know, brides say something like, ‘could you just add this one…‘ Or, ‘we’d like this xxx’, even though it’s not part of the package she paid for. Every wedding vendor has dealt with this situation before, and I wanted to offer a little assistance to you.
It Starts With You
It all start with you, but doesn’t everything? You decided you wanted to run a wedding business, right. But I bet you never thought about how you would run it in much detail. I mean your policies and such. Am I right?
Spend some time thinking about the most satisfying client relationship you’ve ever had as a wedding professional. What made that experience so good? Obviously you clicked with that bride. Now, think about why and which parts of that experience you can reproduce with other clients. Did you have a good vibe? What can you do to create that for other brides. Was she super organized? How can you help your brides reach that level of organization? Was she funny? Could humor work with your other brides?
Half the battle is know what you want in your clients. For instance, I’m pretty action oriented. I’m willing to look for solutions and implement when I find them. My coaching clients who share that perspective really get the most benefit from working with me to improve their ‘talk’. So, I made that part of my contract discussion. I ask clients about it in my pre-coaching questionnaire. You could do something similar.
The other half, of course, is knowing what you don’t want. What behaviors will make your life and job as a wedding vendor more stressful? A problem bride who resists making any decisions? Maybe, you can’t deal with a aggressive bride who demands and demands. Know what you can’t tolerate and share that subtlety with your trouble bride.
Personally, I don’t like whining. Never have. That’s not to say I don’t want to hear emotion- I do. Having a safe place to unburden yourself is one of the benefits of working with me. But there’s a difference between the two. So, I give whiny coaching clients a choice: where should I put my energies? Helping you develop a workable communication strategy that makes your life easier or listening to you complain? It puts the onus back on the client to decide what she’s really paying for. You don’t have to be the bad guy- just offer the options and let her choose.
One caveat- some folks can’t change. A law professor of mine lectured that people are like eggs, and it’s true. Some are fragile. Others incredibly strong against the odds. Some are cracked. You just gotta take them as you find them. Same is true for brides.
What’s My Policy?
Just because your wedding business isn’t a huge conglomerate like Walmart doesn’t mean you don’t need policies. In fact, as a small business owner, you need them more! Walmart is big and is perceived as having fixed rules that can’t change like their refund policy. You can try to get that refund after 60 days in cash, but good luck to ya. Most people respect that policy because Walmart has authority and can’t be challenged. You can build your own perception of authority.
How to build authority. By acting like one. Have your own policies about important things. Write them down and give them to clients. Share them explicitly during contract discussions. I talk more about how to set your own policies in an earlier post about client demands. Have a look.
Make Your Contract Do the Work
Having been a lawyer, I know that contracts are a touchy subject. Contracts make people nervous. I think that’s because most of us think of contracts are an adversarial thing. Me against you. You know me, I have a different take. Contracts are tools for shaping relationships, not just a way to exchange services for money. You probably never thought of your contract that way, huh?
I’m gonna talk about this in detail on the Dec 8th contracts teleconference. But let me give you something to think about now. Your contract (and the learning conversation you have when discussing it- more on learning conversations during the call) is part of your client experience. That’s part of what you’re offering to clients. Is it your own or someone else’s?
Maybe you got a boiler plate contract along with your wedding planner home study course. That’s ok to start. But if you’re using language from someone else’s contract, you’re borrowing their client experience, not yours. That may be why it’s so tricky to enforce that contract. You don’t resonate with it. Why not create your own from scratch? Something that speaks to your values and beliefs for your wedding business. It’s easier than you think, and I’ll offer you ways to get it done yourself with the help of a lawyer on the call.
How do you say no to brides? First you understand your own interests and motives first. Then, you decide what your policies will be. Next you talk about them in your contract and in your contract discussions. That way, your brides have a clear understanding of what’s included in their services, what’s not, and where you’re willing to be flexible. That’s Brideability at work!
Hey if this clicked for you, definitely register for the call on Dec 8th right now!
