Recently, I got a question from a wedding pro on another social networking site about ‘my intentions’. Since my only goal is to help brides use their superpowers for good, I thought I’d share the question and response here. You know, clear up any misunderstandings about bridal coaching and wedding mediation.
Here’s a snag image of our exchange (sorry it’s so small. Tech goof). You can read the actual exchange, part of the discussion in the Weddings Group, on LinkedIn.
A heaping hunk of love and good karma to Natalie Kriegler of the Cappricio Ensemble for saying what I bet a lot of wedding professionals and planners were already wondering. Are you creating more bridezillas, Dina?
Heck, no. Here’s my response to Natalie:
Hi Natalie,
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your point of view. You said a lot of important things and I want to address them.
When I say I work with brides to find and use their power wisely, I mean to help them act kindly and responsibly. A bride to be enjoys an enormous amount of good will and eagerness from those around her, which is a good thing. It’s wonderful that so many people are excited about her big day. However, I’ve been troubled by those reality TV shows that encourage brides to use their power to wreck havoc and hurt feelings. That’s NOT my intention.
Brides who work with me learn to be better communicators and to use collaboration to achieve their goals. On my homepage, you’ll find an explanation of why I don’t think a bride has to be aggressive or hurtful to be assertive or have her voice heard. And, hey, the same lessons can apply to planners who feel that they have to accommodate difficult brides.
As with most things in life, it’s really about relationships. You experienced what good can come from having a trusting relationship with family and colleagues during your wedding. I’m educating planners and brides on how to set realistic expectations and grow trust so that when snags occur (and they do) it’s possible to get back on track without the drama.
And, while you’re right, you can’t change how others feel- like your sister in law- you can change how you experience them and respond. It saddens me that so many brides can be devastated by the comments of others. I’m hoping to show them how protect their feelings and be compassionate.
I really appreciate your passion for your work and willingness to give me this valuable feedback. Hope to ’see’ you at the Summit. If I can help in any way, I hope you’ll ask.
So, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I’d love to know what you think, too. Gimme a shout in the comments.
