I’ve been thinking a lot about the recent lawsuit involving David Tutera. News of it spread through the wedding community like wildfire, with wedding professionals standing on either side of the fence- some sympathetic, some not so much. Of course, I have some immediate thoughts like, ‘why aren’t they in mediation?”, but I want to ponder the larger lessons a little longer. Today, let’s chat about a related topic- near and dear to my heart- contracts
Your Wedding Business Contract
First, I’m not wearing my lawyer hat today. None of what I’m about to say is meant to be legal advice. I’m wearing my business owner hat. My aim is to ask you to think differently about what your contract can do for your wedding business. Yeah, not the sexiest subject matter, but designed thoughtfully, your contract experience could become an essential asset of your business that attracts brides and proactively solves issues.
Contract Basics
Wedding professionals are like other business owners when it comes to contracts. There’s a lot of misinformation around. For instance, I hear vendors say, ‘I got a contract; I’ll take ‘em to small claims court.
Well, here’s the truth about that. You’ll likely to miss at least two days of work because typically the respondent (that’s the person who owes you) doesn’t show the first time. Those are hours you can’t get back. Winning in small claims court doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll ever get paid. You win a judgment for payment that has to be enforced. It’s not automatic. And, in fact, you might need to pay someone to help you enforce the judgment. More money spent. Most folks leave dissatisfied.
Take a minute if you haven’t already to learn the basics. Site like Nolo.com offer free legal information and advice. Here’s an article that lists several online resources, although I haven’t used them. Contracts are kind of like cakes. The basic ingredients are the same yet you can add just about anything to spice it up.
Your Contract is Not This
I realized over the years that each of us view a contract differently. It’s a promise. It’s a way to communicate. It’s a rundown of legal responsibilities. It can be a lot of things, but to my way of thinking it’s not a sword or a shield.
Light Saber
You raise up your contract like a light saber from Star Wars. (I’m geeky) You’re ready to use the Force aggressively to protect and defend. Touch any clauses in my contract and die!
Umbrella
You carry your contract around like the red umbrella in the Travelers Insurance commercials. Very wide, it shields you from unpleasantness and makes being a business owner less daunting. You are covered.
I saw this in others. I experienced it myself. When I was starting out I used my contracts to club big corporations back into line. I felt small and powerless so I used what I had to fend off the enemy.
‘No, you may not delay payment. My contract says…’. ‘ It worked mostly. However, it was extremely tiring to be on the defensive, thrusting my contract all around. The more energy I put into protecting myself against bad companies, consultant and customers, the more they found me, and the less energy I had to put into what mattered to me- changing the way people interacted.
Cowering under a shield didn’t work well either. Just because you feel covered doesn’t mean you are. Random stuff happens. Unethical stuff happens.
A much larger and well known conflict consulting firm called to interview me about joining them. We discussed our business models and philosophies which was pretty exciting for little me. And, then just before ending I remember the person asked about my rates. I balked, then reasoned they’re a good business- tell them. And, I did. Only to find out later that we were both in contention for a major training contract. They beat me on price and won. They violated the larger societal contract and I could’ve sued them for business interference.
What I did was even better. I changed my mind.
The 3 BIG Ideas about Contracts
It occurred to me that I needed to rethink the whole concept of what I wanted my contract to do. Before I just wanted it to protect my business, and by extension, me. What if I could find a way for my contract to represent me in the world in a positive way instead. Like a good will ambassador. I wanted a contract that signaled that I am about collaboration, cooperation and mutual respect and you should be too, if you want to work together. From a boatload of thinking and studying, I developed my 3 BIG ideas about contracts:
Make it Your Contract- Most people get a ready-made contract or have a lawyer draft one. That’s fine, but it’s really someone else’s words and meaning on the page. Make sure your contract represents your values and worldview. Use your own language. You’ll feel much more empowered. And, oddly enough, more willing to be flexible.
Make Your Contract Work For You-Obvious, yet worth repeating. Your contract should explain to your bride the circumstances and characteristics that allow you to do your best work, something she wants, too.
As part of my consulting contract for association leadership, I mention I do my best work with leaders who value communication and collaboration, are open to examining their behaviors and ready to take action to change. I also say I expect disagreements to be discussed first amongst us and then with a mediator if necessary. It makes things more predictible.
Remember, it’s People First- A contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on if there’s no meeting of the minds. That can only happen when you talk about your services, expectations, concerns, questions, your contract with your couple.
You have a reason for asking for what you need in the contract. Most people are really reasonable when they understand why. By the same measure, your couple might have a reason for changing your contract language. Don’t take offense immediately. Inquire. Explore options. Having a real connection with your bride is the best way to ensure you never have to rely on a piece of paper. (We’ll talk about mediation clauses soon.)
You can create an agreement that resonates with your values and strengths. That allows you to collaborate with clients yet be clear and firm. (you know, the majority of issues arise because someone struggled with how to say something difficult- master that and you’re home free) And, best of all, do it from a generous stance. It just takes a little thought.
Invest in Knowledge
I strongly advise you to spend 2-3 hours with an attorney who specializes in small business to review your operations and your contract. Someone who specializes in entrepreneurs will understand your daily challenges a lot better and will be able to make suggestions and introductions, if needed. Ask your colleagues for referrals.
Look around for special programs to cushion the cost. Most state bar associations have a reduced fee panel or a pro bono program. Perhaps you live near a law school with a practice clinic. (I once had a MBA class take my biz on as a project; it was fun) You can turn to online resources like LawGuru.com or Elance.com to find lawyers, too. Have a list of specific questions ready. It’s a big investment, I know. But knowing you’re on sound footing is worth it, right?
One Last Thought
The real differences are between those who embrace peace and those who would destroy it; between those who look to the future and those who cling to the past; between those who open their arms and those who are determined to clench their fists.” Bill Clinton
I can tell you that changing your perceptions and practices is good for business because it is. You and your brides will experience a deeper sense of satisfaction because there will be more transparency and trust. Nice way to do business. Imagine what joy awaits you if you can face your future with your arms and heart open.
